Sun, Sand, and Sea

Our fellow traveler, our only friend, but most importantly, our guide, the sun, was rapidly retreating towards the horizon. Any signs of of civilization, much less life, had been left behind hours ago. Precious water was limited to just a few warm mouthfuls left in the bottom of a crinkly bottle. The hills, dunes, mountains….they were all the same, breaking up the plains of rock only long enough to give a fleeting hope when you reach the summit and but then realize that you are still and may forever be lost in the desert.

Ok, so it wasn’t really quite that dramatic, but it was kinda close. We started the day full of joy and vigor, a twinkle in the eye and all that. Rented some bikes from a hostel. And that’s where things started to go slowly downhill. Started riding, couldn’t find out how to get to the national reserve near Paracas, even though there is literally 3 properly paved roads in town. The bikes had mostly flat tires, only two of the gears worked, and the seats were really, really awful. Like we would have been better off with out seats, just sitting on the metal poles where the seats should have been. Its 4 days later, and our asses are still in pain, and we are only just beginning to be able to talk about it. And then there’s the whole biking through the desert thing. There’s wind, sand, hills, and sun, and they are all mad at your for renting that shitty bike, so you are gonna get punished. You are better off not riding on the road. The road is just pavement with literally 2.7 billion potholes to remind us just how crappy our bike seats were.

We were however, greatly rewarded for our efforts. A spectacular beach, perfect water, flanked by cliffs on both sides. We got some pictures, but it’s really yougottaseeitinperson kind of shit. Things you wouldn’t get on some guided tour. Hung out there for a while, climbed up one of the cliffs for some more photos ops. Had we not had to return the bikes, eat, and all that other stuff living things do, we would’ve stayed there forever. We made it to this weird little town further along road. Ok, so it’s not really a town. Its four restaurants, a dock, and a bunch of tourists. The restaurants are literally buying seafood right off the incoming boats, walking it back over to their kitchens, and cooking it, super fresh like. This place also sells the coldest, best tasting Coca-Cola on earth. No joke. And you want to punch all these tourists in the face because their rudi-poo candy asses coughed up the cash to have someone drive them around the desert in air conditioned vans.

So one the way back, we decided not to follow the crappy road that wound around the hills and would have taken forfuckingever to ride back on. And we were going to lose daylight soon, so we took the shortest way, a straight line through the desert. It wasn’t too bad. This kind of desert was kinda hard and rocky. We could walk our bikes up the hills, and the ride down them was like an awesome off road bike commercial. And this went on for a while. We did know the general direction of town, so we could use the sun to keep us going somewhat right right direction, along with occasional glimpses of cars and roads.

So, we didn’t starve and die in the desert, because you’re reading this. We do have some advice. Don’t ride bikes to tour the national reserve at Paracas, unless you are really, really inspired and in supreme physical condition. At least don’t rent them from a local place. Bring your own. Or even better, just rent a 4-wheeler. Take some sort of motorized transport. You could probably hire one of the cabs in town (the cab to people needing cabs ratio is totally out of whack here. You can literally walk the whole town in 15 minutes.) for a pretty cheap rate. And there is nothing wrong with shortcuts through uncharted desert. Then pictures….